Living Will

I totally rejiggered this from an email I got (thanks, Mary!), but it’s perfect for BeckyLand — funny, and absolutely true … like this … and this … and this … and this.

That was a fun trip down Bloggory Lane!

Anyway … next time I go to the hospital I’m taking this Living Will with me. In triplicate.

I, State Your Name, being of sound mind and body, do not wish to be kept alive indefinitely by artificial means.

Under no circumstances should my fate be put in the hands of pinhead politicians who couldn’t pass ninth grade biology if their lives depended on it, or greedy lawyers and doctors interested in running up the bills.

If a reasonable amount of time passes, say, ten minutes or so, and I fail to ask for at least one of the following …

Guinness
Chocolate
Chinese food
Sex
Mimosa
Cold Beer
Chocolate
Fried chicken
Chinese food
Sex
My favorite book, A Girl Named Zippy by Haven Kimmel
Chocolate cake
Bacon cheeseburger with fries
Guinness
Pizza
Sex
Any of my iTunes music, but especially Bugler’s Holiday
Ice cream
Guinness
Guinness
Guinness
Sex
Guinness

… it should be presumed I’ll never get better. At least I won’t be any fun anymore and that’s just as bad. When such a determination is reached, I hereby instruct my appointed person and attending physicians to pull the plug, reel in the tubes, let the fat lady sing, and call it a day!

You’re all witnesses to my final wishes. And, if you can read between the lines, some of my current ones.

What would be on your list?

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