Here’s something interesting. It’s not necessarily a “bad retail behavior” story, but it’s thought-provoking.
Apparently, a well-dressed gentleman stopped in a bookstore and informed the employees that he’d just been sentenced to six months at the workhouse and would be allowed to take three books with him.
He selected Dianetics by L. Ron Hubbard (possibly because of the heft of the volume), Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, and an unmemorable third.
This episode turned into a parlor game for all the booksellers, as in, “If I were sentenced to six months in the workhouse and could only take three books with me, what would I take?”
Because I’m always expecting the authorities on my doorstep, I want to be ready so I’ve been thinking about my three choices.
One … I’d bring A GIRL NAMED ZIPPY – GROWING UP SMALL IN MOORELAND, INDIANA by Haven Kimmel.
It’s one of the very few books I’ve lifted to “You Betcha, I’ll Read It Again” status. I love it with every fiber of my being. It does three things to me simultaneously … laugh hysterically, break my heart thus turning me into a little puddle of sobbing Becky, and curse the day the writing bug bit me because I’ll never be Haven Kimmel.
Two … I’d bring THE TAO OF POOH and THE TE OF PIGLET, by Benjamin Hoff
because really, is there any other way to learn the Chinese philosophy of Taoism? No. No, there is not. Technically, you can find both books in one volume. Alas, I don’t own it. But if I’m only allowed one, I’d choose Piglet because I believe in the virtue of the small.
Three … my URBAN DICTIONARY compiled by Aaron Peckham. I would spend my incarceration memorizing every delicious word and then come out saying things like …
D’s been giving me heat ‘cause I slang bricks.
That concert was hellza cool!
Oooh! I love this song. Let me get my dance on while I lean back.
Yo, check it! Sista got Tyrese on mad lockdown again this weekend. Brotha won’t be able to hang.
And of course I’ll start calling everyone “holmes.”
Holla back at me with the three books you’d take to the joint with you.