I named my first child almost 21 years ago and have never been made to feel ashamed. Until now. Then along comes Sarah Palin and her passel of kids with the most imaginative names. Track, Bristol, Willow, Piper and Trig.
I feel so stupid. I never once thought to name my child after a sporting event OR a math class. And if I did, I’d probably have chosen the most inappropriate, elitist-sounding names.
Or Plane Geometry. Oh, but that’s a slippery slope. It would inevitably get shortened to PG and bullies would further abbreviate it to Pig. And we know that’s bad. Especially if s/he ever wore lipstick.
But now, thanks to Really Smart Programmers, all of us can name our children in the unique manner of Sarah Palin by using the “Sarah Palin Baby Name Generator.”
If my parents had killed moose and lived in darkness half the year, I might have been called not “Becky,” but Creation Schwarzkopf Palin.
If my Mom was mad at me, maybe for wasting all my oil money on candy, she would have yelled across the tundra, “Block Lionel Palin!! You quit acting like a porkaholic!”
But the DMV and Oprah would always know me as Buster Taint Palin.
Of course, we’d know Oprah as Bang Walmart Palin. We’d call her Bang, of course.
What’s your Palin name? What’s the oddest name you ever came across?