None Of That Sissy Crap

Are you tired of those sissy ‘friendship’ poems and cards?

Me too.

Here are the greeting cards I want to see.

• When you’re sad — I will jump on the person who made you sad like a spider monkey jacked up on Mountain Dew!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

• When you’re blue — I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.

• When you smile — I will know you are plotting something that I must be involved in.

• When you’re scared — we will high tail it out of there.

• When you’re worried — I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be until you quit whining, ya big baby!!!!

• When you’re confused — I will use little words.

• When you’re sick — Stay away from me until you are well again. I don’t want whatever you have.

• When you fall — I’ll pick you up and dust you off … after I laugh my butt off!!

Someone really smart said, “Friendship is like peeing in your pants. Everyone can see it, but only you can feel its true warmth.”

I won’t tell you to forward this to ten of your BFFs because I don’t want you getting depressed because you only have four.

You’re welcome.

What greeting cards would you like to see?

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