I got an “overpayment notice” in the mail the other day from Time Magazine. I had to read it three times. At first I thought I misread the sender and it was really about our Mad Magazine subscription. They send silly notices sometimes.
Yes. We do read every word of Mad Magazine here in BeckyLand. What of it?
Here’s the notice I received:
We appreciate your prompt payment for you [sic] TIME magazine subscription. However, our records indicate that you overpaid and are due a balance of $0.01.
We will extend your subscription for 1 additional issues(s). [??] Or, if you would prefer a refund check for the balance please contact our customer service department at 1-800-843-TIME.
Thank you again for being a subscriber. We look forward to assisting you in the future should you have any questions or concerns about your subscription.
Go ahead. Read it again if you need to. I’ll wait.
So many jokes. So many options.
Let me first say that I loves me my Time Magazine and I read it cover to cover every week. But really? They’ll cut me a check for a penny? What might that cost them? Do you think if I asked real nice they’d set up a direct deposit account for me? Or hand-deliver it straight into my piggy bank here in BeckyLand? Will I get it right away or will they spread the payment over the course of a few months so as to earn the float from it? Do they choose not to send me the copper for fear I’ll melt it down and buy them out?
After prayful consideration and many eeny-meeny-miny-moes, I decide to take the additional issue instead of the serious coin I had been offered. A lesser woman, however, would take advantage of their largesse. And a greedy woman would try to take advantage of other companies with this same policy.
If I overpaid my property taxes would I get another year of public school?
If I overpaid Water and Sanitation would I get extra flushes for the year?
If I overpaid at the grocery store would I get fat? Hmm. Yes, probably.
If I overpaid my electric bill would a year’s worth of electricity ooze out of my outlets?
If I overpaid at the pet store would my fish live an extra year?
It boggles the mind.
Me? I’m not greedy, so I’ll take Time Magazine’s generous offer in the spirit in which it was intended. But next year, I’m overpaying by 52 cents to get an additional year on my subscription.
If we had a greedy bone in our bodies, what other ways could we take advantage of companies with this same policy?