Facebook Sniglets

My kids are all home at the same time so I’m taking the opportunity to step out of BeckyLand for awhile and play with them. But while I’m staycationing, I thought I’d also take the opportunity to share my very funny writer friends with you.

First up is Mike Sigalas.

Mike Sigalas

Mike taught writing for a decade at a number of colleges and universities, including the University of South Carolina, the Citadel Military College, Orangeburg-Calhoun College, and others. He holds degrees from the University of South Carolina and California State University, Chico.

His other jobs included working as a blood bank distribution specialist, college-town rock singer, newspaper and magazine editor, Disneyland Jungle Cruise skipper, and surf-band roadie.

He is the author of Moon Handbooks to South Carolina, North Carolina, Coastal Carolinas, and Charleston & Savannah, and co-author of Moon Handbooks Smoky Mountains.

Sigalas book cover

Facebook Sniglets by Mike Sigalas

Remember Comedian Rich Hall’s “Sniglets?” Words that don’t exist, but should? Here are a few I’ve created for Facebook. Most of us have experienced or been guilty of these at one point or another. Feel free to add your own.

1. Facekeepers: FB friends whom you “friend” because they were acquaintances in a larger group where you had real friends, not realizing that those real friends already are or shortly will be on Facebook themselves, eliminating the motivation for “friending” the Facekeeper in the first place.

2. Bonus Buddy (BB): Someone with whom you connect way better on Facebook (perhaps due to increased maturity, or the removal of old constraints,) than you ever did in real life.

3. Facebalk: Responding cheerfully to a direct FB Message from an old friend while quietly neglecting to “friend” them in the process.

4. Defacing: “Unfriending” a FB friend.

5. Caspering: Refusing to put up a picture on Facebook, so that everyone sees only a white silhouette.
6.Statusloading: Intentionally inserting status-related ephemera to one’s Status Updates as a way of cyberboasting:
Fred is enjoying the ocean view from his living room.
Mike is working hard on his next book.
Shari just returned from sampling some wonderful Cabs at Chez Pierre.

7. Leftrighting: (religious) Clear violations of the Christian teaching that one’s good works should be done anonymously for God and not broadcast to engender the praise of other people:
Doug is back after a wonderful hour of private prayer time and devotion!
Karen is praying for her women’s group members.

8. Faceshock I: The horrifying realization that your recently rediscovered friends have all aged decades while you’ve remained basically the same.

9. Faceshock II: The far more horrifying realization that some of your recently rediscovered friends don’t seem to have aged a bit, while you’ve aged decades.

10: It’s Complic-Haze — The intentional lack of clarity one leaves around potentially embarrassing or controversial aspects of one’s life.

11: Mar-anoia: The belated, sudden, awkward posting of one’s married status (e.g. “Jim is now married to Susan.”) to offset any misconceptions about one’s motives for messaging or requesting a “friend” status with a member of the opposite sex.

12: Dogfacing (verb): Refusing to let people see what you look like now behind the guise of showing endless cute pics of your dog.

13: Kidfacing: Same thing.

14: Faceborn Friends: People whom you never would have met in real life, but with whom you correspond daily or almost daily on Facebook.

15. FaceGrace: An unexpected second chance, found through Facebook, to reclaim a lost relationship or apologize for long-ago misdeed.

16. Faceglaze: the distortion between the life we intentionally project in our Facebook postings/photos and the one we really live.

“How’s ol’ Dave doing?”

“Sounds like all he does is ski, work out, and see ‘fabulous’ concerts, but there may be some Faceglazing going on.”

17. Friendorexia: The compulsion to add ever more and more names to your Friends list; an unhealthy obsession with the number of FB “friends” one has.

18. Bookbuzz: That warm feeling you get when someone you didn’t think knew or liked you asks you to become their FB friend.

19. Facefallen: The disappointment experienced upon realizing that the person whose unexpected Friend Request gave you Bookbuzz has 1,784 other “Friends.”

Got any more?

0 thoughts on “Facebook Sniglets

  1. Heidi

    Status-striction: A “friend” telling you that you cannot use a specific status update because they don’t want a another “friend” to know the information.


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