Common Sense Advice

Sometimes common sense is the best sense to steal from the internet.  Sorry about the shouting caps, but I am so very lazy I really wanted to avoid the re-typing thang. But I did think this was funny enough to share. Hope you agree.

1.  AVOID CUTTING YOURSELF WHEN SLICING VEGETABLES BY GETTING SOMEONE ELSE TO HOLD THE VEGETABLES WHILE YOU CHOP.

2.  AVOID ARGUMENTS WITH THE FEMALES ABOUT LIFTING THE TOILET SEAT BY USING THE SINK.

3.  FOR HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE SUFFERERS ~ SIMPLY CUT YOURSELF AND BLEED FOR A FEW MINUTES, THUS REDUCING THE PRESSURE ON YOUR VEINS. REMEMBER TO USE A TIMER.

4.  A MOUSE TRAP PLACED ON TOP OF YOUR ALARM CLOCK WILL PREVENT YOU FROM ROLLING OVER AND GOING BACK TO SLEEP AFTER YOU HIT THE SNOOZE BUTTON.

5.  IF YOU HAVE A BAD COUGH, TAKE A LARGE DOSE OF LAXATIVES.  THEN YOU’LL BE AFRAID TO COUGH.

6.  YOU ONLY NEED TWO TOOLS IN LIFE — WD-40 AND DUCT TAPE.  IF IT DOESN’T MOVE AND SHOULD, USE THE WD-40.  IF IT SHOULDN’T MOVE AND DOES, USE THE DUCT TAPE.

7.  IF YOU CAN’T FIX IT WITH A HAMMER, YOU’VE GOT AN ELECTRICAL PROBLEM.

DAILY THOUGHT:

SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES – NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING BUT THEY BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN PUSHED DOWN THE STAIRS.

Do you have any common sense advice?

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