How to Fix the Economy

Now that health care is, um, fixed, let’s tackle the economy. Yes, we can! Yes, we can!

This was actually a forwardedededed email I received. I wish I could claim credit for such creative thinking and if it’s true, I wish this person — and his or her clones — would run the world.

This is from an article in the St. Petersburg, FL, Times. The Business Section asked readers for ideas on “How Would You Fix the Economy?”

Dear Mr. President:

Please find below my suggestion for fixing America’s economy.

Instead of giving billions of dollars to companies that will squander the money on lavish parties and unearned bonuses, use the following plan.

You can call it the Patriotic Retirement Plan:

There are about 40 million people over 50 in the work force.

Pay them $1 million apiece severance for early retirement with the following stipulations:

1) They MUST retire. Forty million job openings – Unemployment fixed.

2) They MUST buy a new American car. Forty million cars ordered – Auto Industry fixed.

3) They MUST either buy a house or pay off their mortgage – Housing Crisis fixed.

It can’t get any easier than that!

If more money is needed, have all members of Congress and their constituents pay their taxes.

What do you think? Workable? Logical?

0 thoughts on “How to Fix the Economy

  1. Ian

    Works for me. Require them to invest at least twenty-five percent of their remaining savings in the stock market. That also fixes the stock market and stimulates growth.

    Also, any writer should be exempt from the 50-and-older clause, and get their million if they’re of legal voting age. 😀

    Reply
  2. mathprofessor

    Sounds like a great idea. Until you do the math, and you realize the original poster was numerically impaired. 🙁

    Reply

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