I Dare You Not To LOL, part 5

I got these funny observations about life (lifeservations?) from a friend. It’s one of those viral emails that makes its way around the world in about eight seconds. Even if you’ve seen it, though, it’s worth another giggle.

I wish I knew who writes these things — some of them are hilarious. Like this one. It was long, though, so you get one every day this week —Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday AND Friday. [I know you know the days of the week. That’s to remind me to link them all.]

You’re welcome!

45. I like all of the music in my iTunes, except when it’s on shuffle, then I like about one in every fifteen songs in my iTunes.

46. As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.

47. Sometimes I’ll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

48. It should probably be called Unplanned Parenthood.

49. I keep some people’s phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

50. Even if I knew your social security number, I wouldn’t know what do to with it.

51. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, hitting the G-spot, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey – but I’d bet my ass everyone can find and push the Snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time every time…

52. My 4-year old son asked me in the car the other day “Dad what would happen if you ran over a ninja?” How the hell do I respond to that?

53. It really pisses me off when I want to read a story on CNN.com and the link takes me to a video instead of text.

56. I wonder if cops ever get pissed off at the fact that everyone they drive behind obeys the speed limit.

54. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

55. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lites than Kay.

56. The other night I ordered takeout, and when I looked in the bag, saw they had included four sets of plastic silverware. In other words, someone at the restaurant packed my order, took a second to think about it, and then estimated that there must be at least four people eating to require such a large amount of food. Too bad I was eating by myself. There’s nothing like being made to feel like a fat bastard before dinner.

Got a favorite? Did you enjoy this week of lazy blogging? I know I did!

0 thoughts on “I Dare You Not To LOL, part 5

  1. Renee

    “Sometimes I’ll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.”

    That one happens to me all the time.

    Don’t worry about the lazy blogging by the way. I’m not picky, I’ll read anything as long as it’s funny. (Or about synaesthesia. I’m a synnee myself so I love seeing other people gush about how amazing it must be. ;P)

    Reply

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