Tag Archives: editors

What, You Ask, Are Copyedits Like?

Doing copyedits on a novel is like being sent on the most intense scavenger hunt EVER.

Page 43 sends you to the notes on page 168 and then to the notes on page 285 so you read them all, then tweak page 43 and/or page 285 but you decide with the other tweaks, page 168 is okay as it stands. So you go back to continue on at page 44. But when you get to page 168 and see the note from your editor, you don’t remember if you changed page 43 so you go back to check. But page 43 isn’t page 43 anymore because you’ve added and/or deleted words since then … because page 59 sent you to page 12 which sent you to page 97. Etcetera, etcetera, etcetera.

By the time you’ve gotten lost in the minutiae of the manuscript, you can’t even remember your own name, much less what that character said about the photographer, or if that one had a cigar, or why that one didn’t make that important call when she said she would!

That’s the time to collapse in a heap sobbing, “I don’t KNOW what color the curtains are! I don’t KNOW why she hasn’t changed clothes yet! I don’t KNOW what direction that road goes!”

And then, of course, you slink downstairs to take a deep, cleansing breath and to remove a single piece of dark chocolate from its hiding place. With the sharp aftertaste of cacao on your tongue you straighten your shoulders, march upstairs, and get back to it, blessing your copyeditor for asking all these questions.

Because you’re a writer and this is what writers do.

How To Get Noticed At A Writing Conference

It’s a new year, full of delicious conferences to help your writing and publishing career. You have pitches to make, loglines to memorize, schmoozes to dominate, and workshops to hijack. We here in BeckyLand are old pros at writing conferences so here are the ten things you must do, assuming you want to get noticed.

• When you check in at the hotel, holler at the front-desk person, “Don’t you know who I am?? I’m a writer! That’s right. A WRITER. And I must have Egyptian sheets with silk pillowcases, several bowls filled with green M&Ms arranged by a feng shui master, fourteen lightly sharpened pencils, and the home phone number of your supervisor … (pause for effect here and lower your voice)… just in case.” Then grab your room key and motion for someone to follow with your suitcase. (Don’t worry. They will. You’re a writer, for pete’s sake!)

• At the conference registration table, push to the front of the line, reminding people you are a WRITER.

• Go through each page of your registration packet while the line backs up behind you. Ask for clarification of each point. After all, you never know if you’ll see any of the conference staff the rest of the weekend. If anyone asks you to move along, remind them that you are a writer then glare at them until they roll their eyes in deference.

• If there are freebies on the registration table, take them all. Duh. You’re a writer! You deserve extra stuff!

• Do your best to reschedule every pitch appointment you were assigned. Even if you don’t need to. Conference schedulers need to be reminded at every opportunity that you ”” the writer ”” are in charge. Everything they do, they do for you. The writer.

• Remember that during workshops when agents and editors request any questions be of a general nature, they’re not talking about your question. As a writer, you need to ask them what they think of your manuscript/plot/premise. Even if the workshop is about writing dialogue.

• During every break, squat to peer under each restroom stall. If you see shoes attached to the feet of an agent or editor, bang on their door and start your pitch, handing your entire manuscript to them under the door. They like this because they’re excellent multi-taskers. You need to show them that you are too by your mad stalking, banging, and pitching skillz.

• If you’re not a good multi-tasker, all is not lost. Simply gather up all the toilet paper in the restroom and barter some for an offer to send your complete manuscript to them. Obviously you can ignore any loser in there who isn’t an editor or agent. They can’t help you in any way, anyway.

• At mealtimes dominate all conversation with anyone at your table who can help your career. Feel free to grab centerpieces from nearby tables to design a lovely fortress around you and your new soulmate. Despite what others might tell you, that’s not at all creepy. They’ll describe your undivided attention as “endearing.”

• When relaxing in the bar after your busy day of being a writer, you deserve a strong drink. Several, in fact. There’s nothing more adorable than writers who slur their way through “You Light Up My Life” ”” twice ”” on the karaoke machine, freely confess a lifetime of transgressions to all their new BFFs, and vomit in the ficus tree in the corner.

And that’s all there is to it! Good luck!

Do you have any other good tips for neophyte conference attendees?