Tag Archives: Ted Hardwick

Top Ten Reasons To Sign Up For My So-Seldom-It’s-Shameful Newsletter

Top Ten Reasons To Sign Up For My So Seldom It’s Shameful Newsletter

10. Every time I get 100 new subscribers, everyone on the list is entered to win a fabulous prize

9. The longer you’re a subscriber, the more chances you have to win ”” I’ll say it again ”” fabulous prizes

8. When MARSHMALLOW MAYHEM (the sequel to BANANA BAMBOOZLE) is released as an ebook, you’ll hear about it first

7. When the MARSHMALLOW MAYHEM ebook goes free (and it will), you’ll ONLY hear about it if you’re a subscriber

6. You’ll make my mom happy

5. Getting your friends to subscribe (hmm, perhaps by sharing this) gets you a higher place in heaven (and more opportunities to win, even though you don’t have a single selfish bone in your body and would never be anything other than altruistic)

4. I won’t guilt-haunt your dreams

3. Your email inbox wants something delightfully non-work-related for a change

2. Subscribing to my list is better than a poke in the eye with a sharp stick

And the number one reason to sign up for my So Seldom It’s Shameful Newsletter …

1. You’ll get funny short stories to entertain you that will be not be published anywhere else. Consider it my gift to you as thanks for supporting my endeavors. Maybe backstory, like finding out what the heck happened to Dan and Cassidy in Las Vegas. Maybe part of a work-in-progress that doesn’t quite fit anymore. Maybe something that will change your life and leave you weeping in gratitude. Or perhaps an epic Homeric poem about scrambled eggs. Could be anything.

Do it. You know you want to. Clickedy click …. right here.

(Thanks. You’re the best.)

Tattered Cover Book Store

I finally have all my little booky ducks in a row with one of the world’s finest independent bookstores.

Tattered CoverAll of my books are available from Amazon, either in print or for your Kindle, or both.

But not everyone likes to deal with them, so I have a delightful alternative for you … Denver’s fabulous Tattered Cover Book Store. [Full disclosure, if you use my links to do your shopping at the Tattered Cover, whether you buy my books or not, I earn a penny or a shiny button or a pat on the head or something.]

The Tattered Cover rents and ships books, has three huge locations plus satellite stores at Union Station and the Denver airport, tons of author events, and a staff that knows, quite literally, every-single-thing.

And now, they also sell two of my books. There’s something quite special about seeing your book on a bookstore shelf. A long time ago, I was in my local Borders Books and stumbled upon my first book (out of print now) on the sale rack. The really, really on sale rack. You’d think that would be sad, but you’d be wrong. It was just as thrilling. Perhaps I’m a Pollyanna, but I thought, “Yay! Some thrifty, budget-conscious person can buy this for their kid.”

Thanks for letting me share my excitement. And, remember … buying books is an excellent way to support local businesses and your favorite writers. Plus, they make perfect gifts ”” always the right size and so easy to wrap! (Click on the covers and go straight to my Tattered Cover page.)

a funny mystery

Simple, healthy, no-fuss recipes

Happy Reading, Happy Cooking, Happy Shopping … Happy Happy!

(Nah, I’m not a Pollyanna.)

Book Club

I’ll be forever grateful to the ladies comprising the very first book club who read BANANA BAMBOOZLE. Insightful discussion, kind comments, enthusiasm … everything an author might want!

The ringleader asked the group about their secret addictions, starting with me, but I couldn’t think of any. Perhaps it was the word ‘secret’ that  threw me. But as each woman answered, I’d pipe up, “Oh, I do that!” … “Oh, I do that too!” … “And that!”

I won the coveted Most Messed Up trophy. Very proud day, indeed.

Look how cute they are! I think everyone was sitting because that was AFTER we bamboozled.

Bamboozle book club copy

Here’s hoping your book club is equally fantabulous!

Kirsten Vangness Gets Bamboozled

Wouldn’t you just die if Shemar Moore whispered, “Hey, Baby Girl” in your ear?

Because their characters on Criminal Minds have that flirty will they/won’t they vibe going, Kirsten Vangness gets that every week … and Moore! (See what I did there?)

But she still took time to give Banana Bamboozle a shout-out, which puts me over the moon. Practically as good as if Shemar Moore whispered in my ear.

She’s almost too adorable for the internet, but I’m going to post this anyway and hope nothing explodes.

Kirsten Vangness:Penelope Garcia

Book Launch Day for Banana Bamboozle!

BananaBamboozle front coverIf you signed up on my mailing list, you’ve already heard that today is National Goof Off Day which is the perfect day to launch a fun, easy read like Banana Bamboozle. You’ve also heard all the merriment we have planned around the launch for the next few days.

And if you didn’t sign up on my mailing list, you’ve done gone and broke my heart! (But you can always redeem yourself by doing it now!)

I can’t tell you all the Super Secret Stuff since you didn’t want to join the club (sob), but I can tell you that we’re having a Comment Contest on Facebook tomorrow, (Sunday March 23) and Monday (March 24). I’ll ask a question, you answer with your funniest, most delightful answer, and votes will be cast by complete strangers* pushing the ‘like’ button. Winners get signed books.

[*Not that you’d be so crass as to manipulate your friends into voting for you or anything, but the most ‘shares’ over the two days wins a prize too. Just sayin.]

If you’re not following me over at Facebook, just click the blue icon that says “Follow” in my sidebar, over thataway→→→→→→→ and probably ↓↓↓ too.

Okay, since you twisted my arm and said ‘purty please’, I’ll tell you one more thing. The electronic version of Banana Bamboozle will be free today, tomorrow and Monday. Click here to download it. All I ask in return is that if you like it, you post a quick review on Amazon and/or Goodreads.

The print edition is available here, but if you’d prefer to buy it from your local bookstore or request that your library carry it, just give them the ISBN: 978-1-4944-9471-1 and they can order it easy peasy.

Happy Bamboozling … and thanks for helping make the BANANA BAMBOOZLE Book Launch so much fun!

PS ”” Take a picture of how you spent National Goof Off Day (or any of your personal Goof Off Days) with your copy of Banana Bamboozle. When I get some good ones, I’ll post on my blog. Email jpgs to Becky (at) Becky Clark Books (dot) com … do I need to tell you there are no spaces? I’m never sure.

Bodacious Blurbs for Banana Bamboozle

I’ve been deep in the throes of the launch for my new novel BANANA BAMBOOZLE. I swear, it’s taking longer than birthin’ a baby!BananaBamboozle front cover

But all the moving parts are beginning to clang together so I’m getting happy and antsy. Happsy.

One of the coolest things about writing books ”” besides having complete strangers tell you how much they like them ”” is having peers, people you respect, tell you they like your writing.

I stuck my neck out and asked three writers if they’d be so kind as to blurb my book, for the back cover. These are writers whose books and talent I respect, so I was thrilled when they all immediately said yes. They sent back such perfect responses I wanted to share them here first. Here’s the back cover …

Bamboozle back cover

I want to give them each a shout-out because if you haven’t read any of their books yet, you really should!

stay at home dead

Jeff Shelby writes the bestselling Noah Braddock mysteries (Killer Swell, Wicked Break, Liquid Smoke and Drift Away), which are fabulous. If you like Robert Crais and Robert B. Parker, these are right up your alley. But I love his funny cozy mysteries, Stay At Home Dead and Popped Off, written under Jeffrey Allen, his pen name.

The-Sacrifice-by-Peg-Brantley

 

I’m reading Peg Brantley’s newest mystery The Sacrifice right now. Well, not right now, but you know what I mean. It’s terrific. Suspense with a soupçon of heart. Lots of twists, interesting characters and tight writing.

 

nymphosMy favorite book by Mario Acevedo is The Nymphos of Rocky Flats, because it was my first introduction to the weird way his mind works. I mean, seriously, what kind of person writes so lovingly about a vampire private investigator? It’s hilarious, sexy, unique, and undeniably entertaining. And guess what? It’s a series!

So, thank you Jeff Shelby, Peg Brantley, and Mario Acevedo for saying nice things about Banana Bamboozle. You didn’t have to, but it makes me ridiculously happsy that you did!

Aspen Comedy Festival

I wrote this several years ago and it recently resurfaced during my Once Every Decade Computer Colonic. There is some updating to do, however … (1) Alex Borstein is a producer, writer and voice on “Family Guy” now … (2) after meeting Jackson Douglas I became a rabid Gilmore Girls fan, learning I was indeed smart enough and, in fact, have since been told I could be Lorelai Gilmore’s older sister ”” a compliment, though left-handed, that gives me a ridiculous amount of pleasure because my motto, like theirs, is “life’s short ”” talk fast” … (3) we took back that waitress’ tip … (4) it’s much easier these days to find liberals to talk to in Colorado … (5) I now know the guy who played Mr Wicke on the Drew Carey Show is Craig Ferguson, who entertains America in the middle of the night … (6) Ms Borstein’s “Drop Dead Gorgeous” is on Netflix. We watched it again and laughed ourselves silly. Not for the kiddies, though.

Okay, now you’re up to speed. It made me laugh and I hope you’ll enjoy it too.

Three Days as a Civilian at the Aspen Comedy Festival

I just got back from the HBO Comedy Festival in Aspen. I couldn’t have had more fun unless Mr. Steve Martin sat on my lap and told me jokes. No, I couldn’t have had more fun unless Mr. Steve Martin sat on my lap, told me jokes and tickled me with a feather. Well, okay, I couldn’t have had more fun unless Mr. Steve Martin sat on my lap, told me jokes, tickled me with a feather and paid my Aspen expenses.

Anyway, I didn’t actually see Mr. Steve Martin.

But I did have many other celebrity sightings.

Work with me here as I toggle back and forth using the singular “I” as well as the plural “we” to include my husband whenever I can’t make it all about me.

We were there at the urging ”” like we needed urging ”” of our pal Ted Hardwick, who was performing at the festival with the very funny Alex Borstein of “Mad TV” fame.

If you’re keeping count, this is Name Dropping #1. Ted doesn’t count because we knew him when he used to drink chocolate milk instead of double bourbons with Coke backs. Even though he’s been on television and at the Improv in Los Angeles AND at the Montreal Comedy Festival, he’s cool with it.

Ted does a flamboyant old-time stand-up comedian character named Teddy Towne. If I haven’t over-explained that enough, he also wears a loud plaid jacket and sunglasses. Teddy Towne opens the show for the talented Ms. Borstein.

So we met up with our pal Ted and headed back to the condo to stow our luggage and catch up with him. He showed us all the loot he got as a performer at the Festival . . . his official name badge, t-shirt, winter scarf, those cool earmuffs that wrap behind your head so as not to muss your Hollywood hair, and the coveted Comedy Arts Festival Beret. And some mints.

As we were hanging around, who comes in but the actual Alex Borstein, not just a name to be bandied about anymore, but a real live person. (Name Dropping #1A) She plopped herself down on the couch, opened a bottle of water and told us she needed somewhere to hang out until it was time to do the remote taping with Jay Leno for “The Tonight Show” to be broadcast later that night.

So we hung out and had an entertaining conversation with this most delightful, and very nice woman. If you didn’t already know, you can tell someone is nice by how they react when you pull out photos of your children. She passed the test . . . nary a whimper from her.

After Alex left, we wandered around Aspen, trying to score tickets in the Festival’s ill-conceived notion of ticket purchasing. Luckily, this became a moot point as Ted is very tall and was wearing The Badge of Comedy around his neck which proved to carry with it a certain cache. He refused to wear The Beret of Comedy or The Earmuffs of Comedy which I think could have gotten us much closer to Mr. Steve Martin. But I’m not going to open up that can of worms again.

As we walked around Aspen, Ted introduced us to Jackson Douglas who is married to Alex Borstein and has a recurring role on “The Gilmore Girls.” (Name Dropping #2) I never told him, and he was too polite to ask if we watched his show. If he had, I’d have been forced to tell him that I didn’t think I was smart enough to watch. The handful of times I’ve watched brought me to the realization that those Gilmore Girls talk too fast for me, a forty-something woman who lives on the Colorado plains.

We ended up at the beautiful St. Regis Hotel, which is one of those if-you-have-to-ask-you-can’t-afford-it kind of places. So we didn’t ask, but it didn’t make it easier to pay for our $42 round of three drinks. And here’s something interesting in a place like the St. Regis … if your cocktail waitress gives you the bum’s rush and doesn’t think you’ve tipped her well enough for walking fourteen steps to carry three drinks to you, she’ll refuse to accept it. As a woman with children of my own, I’m gonna say that her mother would be embarrassed by her behavior. But I digress.

In the bar of the St. Regis we saw Michael Moore who was at the festival to receive the Freedom of Speech Award for his body of terrific work, including his recent “Bowling for Columbine.” (Name Dropping #3)

As we were sitting, watching Michael Moore ignore us, an adorable long-haired weiner dog was nursing a brew at the table next to us. One thing I learned at the Comedy Festival was that “weiner” is much funnier than “dachshund.” Say them both out loud. You’ll see. When Mr. Weiner Dog (Name Dropping #4) started sniffing around my purse, I became a bit alarmed because, as they say in TexArkana, you just rent beer. So I got him back to his People and found out that Mr. Weiner Dog was himself a Hollywood star when they handed me a flyer advertising his latest movie. Can’t remember the name of the movie, nor Mr. Weiner Dog’s real name, but Richard Belzer’s photo was on the flyer, even though Mr. Weiner Dog’s was not. Another thing I learned at the Comedy Festival is that he should discuss this slight with his agent, his manager, his make-up person, his producer, and the cocktail waitress to rectify the situation immediately.

So it was only a matter of time before Richard Belzer (Name Dropping #5) walks up to Mr. Weiner Dog’s table and sits down. This, I suppose, makes it Mr. Richard Belzer’s table now. And in case you ever wondered . . . yes, the sunglasses stay on at night.

Since we had finished our $42 round of three drinks, and had decided for obvious reasons against another, we left the St. Regis bar. As we moved into the hallway, I saw some commotion to my right and a Beret of Comedy lumbering toward me. As it got closer I could see it belonged to John Goodman (Name Dropping #6) who is a great big happy bear of a man. There was a handful of people around him and as he walked, the crowd in the hallway parted, almost reverentially. Later, it was pointed out to me that the crowd really does have to part for Mr. Goodman, so I might have put my own little reverential spin on the situation.

Mr. Goodman and his group stopped smack dab in our way so we were forced to walk out of the hotel with them. As it was the Comedy Festival, I was expecting to get stuck in the doorway with Mr. Goodman a la The Three Stooges. Didn’t happen though. The Gods of Comedy were obviously busy elsewhere, maybe thinking up more funny names for “dachshund.” But, while we were leaving through the second sets of doors, who should hold the door open for me but Harry Shearer. (Name Dropping #7) He is the voice of so many great characters on “The Simpsons.”  I hope he wasn’t as bored as he looked. I probably should have said “weiner” to him.

Speaking of “The Simpsons,” Nancy Cartwright (the voice of Bart Simpson) was also at the Festival. It’s entirely possible that she could have been on my Celebrity Sightings List too, but I’m not entirely sure what she looks like. Maybe she was the one in the restroom who told me to eat her shorts when I crowded in front of her at the hand dryer.

We went to see Julia Sweeney‘s show, “Guys and Babies, Sex and Gods.” (Name Dropping #8) What a delightful show she puts on! She has had a most interesting life and was telling about her adventures in adopting a baby from China. We laughed, we cried.

After we saw Teddy Towne and Ms. Borstein’s show (which I should tell you was the hottest ticket at the Festival despite what Kelsey Grammer’s people would have you believe), we went back to their dressing room where we were introduced to Janeane Garofalo. (Name Dropping #9) Even without her Beret of Comedy she was a hoot to hang out with. She is very well read and so interesting. Even the way she smokes is funny. She didn’t want to smoke in anyone’s face so she got right down on the floor where the full-length window opened so she could blow the smoke outside. But it was windy so it just blew back in. Okay, maybe it’s not that funny. Later, she and my husband and some others had a 3-hour conversation in the middle of the night, much of which was about politics. My husband was very excited to talk politics with someone who shares his liberal leanings. Hard to find someone simpatico on the Colorado plains.

There were some other shows we wanted to see but had to wait in line, because, apparently, Ted’s Badge of Comedy was losing power. While waiting in line, however, I saw Norm Macdonald (Name Dropping #10) and my husband saw the guy who plays Mr. Wicke on “The Drew Carey Show” (Name Dropping #10.5) And later on, Mike Myers (Name Dropping #11) bumped into my husband. Nothing really funny about poor balance, but we’ll blame it on the altitude and cut him some slack.

Which leads me back to Alex Borstein, who is funny and has impeccable balance. She also, by the way, told me I had nice skin. Uh huh, uh huh. Ms. Borstein’s show is called “Drop Dead Gorgeous in a Down-to-Earth Bombshell Sort of Way.”  Which she is. The television does not do her justice, but that isn’t the point. Her point, made in a laugh-yourself-silly-kinda-way is that she is looking for role models on television and in movies. She tells very funny stories about the descriptions of women that Hollywood producers are looking to cast in their shows. You know, like the character named “Teena” who is a physicist but also blond, sexy and willing to get into wet t-shirt contests. Or “Unnamed Woman” who is sitting at her vanity in sexy lingerie to sell motor oil.

Frankly, these are not women anyone can identify with, whether you’re a short, Jewish entertainer or a 40-something woman with nice skin and three kids. But if she’s looking for a role model, I don’t think she has to look any further than her own mirror.  Alex Borstein, Janeane Garofalo and Julia Sweeney are all amazing, smart, articulate, opinionated and very funny women with or without their Berets of Comedy. I would be honored if my daughter took on any of them as a role model.

Except for the smoking, Janeane, I’m pretty sure that’s not good for you.

How ”˜bout you? Got any names to drop?