Tag Archives: Frontier Airlines

Dear Frontier Airlines

Dear #FrontierAirlines … I’m breaking up with you. You used to be my favorite, my one true carrier, the love of my North American travel. But no more.

I used to brag to my friends how much you loved animals, even giving them silly names and voices. And you were SO into me. What happened? It’s true I’ve gotten older and have more baggage, but you’re not all that and a bag of peanuts yourself. You’ve always been capricious ”” late for our dates, losing things, changing the rules whenever you feel like it. Remember that time, without any warning, you moved to a different state? What was that all about? You probably shop at Whole Foods now.

I’ve overlooked it all, though, because you were fun, whimsical, middle-class like me. Hey, I get that you want to get ahead in the world and that’s great. But you’re doing it at the expense of your old friends. You’re like the doctor who divorces his wife immediately after she puts him through med school. He’s a dick too.

Some girls might sugarcoat it and say, “It’s me, not you, baby,” but I can’t lie. It’s you. All you.

I looked the other way when you did away with your easy-to-understand tiered pricing. I made excuses for you when you charged for bags, both checked and carry-on, telling my friends, “He’s never done this before. He’s really very sweet, boy-next-door. He’ll change.”

But your infatuation with that skanky new website was the last straw. Have you tried to buy tickets on your own website? No? Well, I have. Let’s just say even though dumping the old and familiar might have made your manhood swell, you’ve left me unfulfilled. Frustrated. Quivering with disappointment.

You’ve forced me to look elsewhere to consummate my travel plans. I will henceforth seek affection from your cousin, #SouthwestAirlines. He doesn’t seem to care about my baggage. In fact, he seems to welcome it.

Your hometown gal, forever heartbroken,


ps – We’re still sharing custody of Grizz, though, right?


You Could Be A Winner!

Frontier Airlines will give free round-trip tickets to winners of their writing contest. They’re looking for true stories about how Frontier brought people together.

Seems like fun but there are three drawbacks I can see …
1. You have to be 21.
2. They will be verifying the truthiness of your story
3. No free peanuts.

If you don’t have a story, I will be happy to assist you. My bag is packed and I will go to the destination on the ticket you give me. I will engage in all sorts of amusements and merriment. Or pathos. Or crises. Whatever your plot hinges upon. Then when Frontier brings us back together … voila … your story writes itself.

But hurry. My roller disco outfit is shedding bedazzles on my bull-fighting cape and I’m clueless when it comes to removing wrinkles from my chaps and my fez.


• Visit www.FrontierAirlines.com/facebook (the link takes you to the fan page)
• Become a fan on the page
• Post your story about how Frontier Airlines brought important people in your life together. (Keep it brief, we anticipate having a lot to read.) It can be anything from uniting you with the love of your life to bringing an honored soldier back from military duty. We’re looking for unique, heart-warming and amusing stories. Give us your best! Posting deadline is 11:59 p.m. MDT on Aug. 6, 2009
• On Aug. 9, 2009, Frontier representatives will select fifteen stories from the entries posted. Those stories will then be reposted on Frontier’s official Facebook fan page, where fans will be asked to vote for their favorite story. Voting deadline is noon MDT on Aug. 20, 2009
• On Aug. 21, 2009, the five stories that received the most votes will be declared the contest winners.
• Following verification of the stories (and we will be checking) the five stories with the most votes will each receive two roundtrip tickets on Frontier Airlines good for the next 365 days.

Will you be entering?