Funny Friends

I’ve been on Facebook for a long time. A really long time. I got an account soon after it opened to normals and not just students. Of course, I was a precocious forty-seven-year-old so it’s to be expected.

Way back then, O Best Beloved, Facebook automatically started a blank post with your name, then you fill in the rest like, “Becky is … eating a sandwich.”

I found this old blog, highlighting some of my fabutastically funny friends. Since Facebook isn’t nearly as fun as it once was, I resurrected it to see if we couldn’t conjure up them good ‘ol days.

• <insert name here> is repeating the magic words and waving her magic wand, but the house still looks like…oh, wow. No wonder we never invite anyone to dinner.

• is feeling virtuous. Hopefully it won’t last.

• helped Katie today… again more industrious than the bloody industrial revolution…

• kicked over an ant hill today. REBUILD. Haha.

• wonders who names their child Aldous?

• had a couple of thoughts just now. Must be digging out of the cotton mush that took over my brain today.

• ‘s husband is a genius… he’s decided to “create a new month called Edu-vember, where teachers are able to catch up on all of their work without distraction! Help spread the word!”

• bought a new orange basket, because nothing says ‘I love you’ like storing your kids’ toys in a receptacle that smells like cow dung.

• is back at work, no sick Johns. (Um. Should probably clarify that I am not a hooker.)

• feels a little bad that my 7 year old left an empty table setting for me, and my 4 year old waited up past 9 because he wanted to say Good Night. It’s nice to be missed, and–hey! One of my kids set the table!!

• is so excited that her marshmallow tree is blooming like crazy and she will have a bumper crop of fresh marshmallows in a few weeks. Fluffernutters for all.

• is nimbly avoiding the past participle but crashing into the continuous aspect.

• imagines the students in his Children’s Lit class will greet his newly written lecture on the predictive coefficient of children’s fantasy with sustained applause, rhythmic clapping and stomping, and loud, piercing ululations of untrammelled joy tomorrow.

• was playing in his office chair and found a fun lever that made him fall out of it! *hops up and pulls it again* WEEEEEE!!!

• is listening to a fantastic Gordon Lightfoot record. Yes. I said Gordon Lightfoot. Deal with it.

• thinks winter is being a control freak. Relinquish!!

Did any of these make you snort right out loud like they did to me? Do you remember when Facebook was fun?

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