Yet MORE Boot Camp Lines

I hope you’re enjoying these. I know I do. But after yesterday and the day before AND the day before that, alas, I’ve run out.

Enjoy one last batch ….

“Get yer @#!$%^ knees off the deck, this ain’t the @#$%^& Air Force!”

“This place is one giant OCD prison.”

“The days feel extremely long because they are.”

My boyfriend wrote…”I got to call cadence today in formation, it was AWESOME!!” Then in his next letter he wrote, “I’ve been made Master At Arms. I guess the chief didn’t like my singing cadences.”

“No more hour long poops. They call it Pump and Dump!”

“I’ve decided that the RDCs are trying to impose Stockholm Syndrome…….and it’s working!”

“I’m on Color Guard and it’s very important to NOT drop the flag. That ranks right up there with do NOT drop the soap!”

“I’ve learned that the recruiters are the salesmen and lawyers of the Navy.”

“Whenever an inspection takes place, not doing something is called an FFI. We hear it a lot. Well, while cleaning the head in the chapel, I overheard someone talking about when God told Abraham to kill his son, Isaac, and he didn’t do it. All I could think of was, “That’s an FFI!” It stands for Failure to Follow Instruction.”

“Mom, these people here have no souls.”

“And there is a guy who catches all the heat I should. He is my size and when we are both bald and wearing BC’s we look -IDENTICAL!! He is ugly as sin so that kinda bums me out!”
“My bunkmate is 30 , 6’5″ with banana fingers, from West Africa, and me a 5’8″ kid from a cornfield. Two days ago during an inspection I had a string on my collar and he kept pulling it because he knew I’d get yelled at. But his f…ing banana fingers were too big so he bit it off real quick. As you can imagine, I nearly pissed myself.”

“Hey mom, this is your new son…. but don’t worry, I don’t love you any different.”

“Chief is f$#*&$# hardcore and very fluent in profanity.”

“I love you more than I love shining my f*ing boots 🙂 ”

“Oh, funny. A bunch of guys just started singing I’m a Little Teapot.”

“As I write this, I’m wearing a work shirt nearly identical to my Office Depot shirt, sitting on ugly linoleum under harsh fluorescent lights feeling resentful toward my bosses. It’s like I never left home. Except at night I go home to 83 smelly guys and none of you.”

“I am making some friends, but they kind of decide who your friends are for you. I’m mainly friends with my bunkmates and the people I stand next to in our height line.”

“And then there’s [name deleted]. He was dumb as a brick. He says his recruiter told him that after boot camp he’d be permanently stationed in his hometown and as soon as he got here and discovered that wasn’t the case, he wanted out. He faked having asthma, tried to buy pot off of Chief, swore at the Petty Officers, and so on. But I actually miss him. It was like having a soap opera, always something new and interesting.”

“By the way, they are allowed to swear at individual people. I’ve been called f***face, a f-ing rock, and a f-ing dodohead. As I write, they’re drawing our division flag ”” an anchor with an eagle carrying a dodo skull, symbolizing our shedding of being dodohead recruits. It’s totally boss.”

“YAY! Mail call, then bed! Two of my three favorite things!”

“PS – why do they stuff the pepper if they know they’re going to make it soup? Wouldn’t it be easier to put the stuffing straight in the soup?”

Which was your favorite?