The Wacky Warnings website tells us …“When it was launched in 1997, the Wacky Warning Label Contest, sponsored by the Foundation for Fair Civil Justice, encouraged millions of Americans to focus on the need for legal reform in a most unique way. By using humor as a hook, the contest captured the attention of the media and engaged the public in a conversation about how lawsuit abuse is changing our culture.”
This is the founder of the Wacky Warnings Label Contest, Bob Dorigo Jones, explaining his cause and introducing the winner of the 12th annual contest …
He wrote a bestselling humor book, “Remove Child Before Folding ”” the 101 Stupidest, Silliest, and Wackiest Warning Labels Ever.”
Here are some classic wacky warning labels …
• on a washing machine: “Do not put any person in this washer.”
• on a personal watercraft: “Never use a lit match or open flame to check fuel level.”
• on a cell phone: “Don’t try to dry your phone in a microwave oven.”
• on the cover of a Yellow Pages book: “Please do not use this directory while operating a moving vehicle.”
• on a small tractor: “Danger! Avoid Death.”
• on an iron-on T-shirt transfer: “Do not iron while wearing shirt.”
• on a baby stroller featuring a small pouch for storage: “Do not put child in bag.”
• on a letter opener: “Caution: Safety goggles recommended.”
• on a Vanishing Fabric Marker: “The Vanishing Fabric Marker should not be used as a writing instrument for signing checks or any legal documents.”
• on a brass fishing lure with a three-pronged hook on the end: “Harmful if swallowed.”
• on a popular scooter for children: “This product moves when used.”
• on a flushable toilet brush: “Do not use for personal hygiene.”
• on a digital thermometer: “Once used rectally, the thermometer should not be used orally.”
• on a hair dryer: “Never use hair dryer while sleeping.”
• on an electric drill made for carpenters: “This product not intended for use as a dental drill.”
• on a bottle of drain cleaner: “If you do not understand, or cannot read, all directions, cautions and warnings, do not use this product.”
• on a smoke detector: “Do not use the Silence Feature in emergency situations. It will not extinguish a fire.”
• on a cardboard car sunshield that keeps sun off the dashboard: “Do not drive with sunshield in place.”
• on a label on a hand-held massager: “Do not use while sleeping or unconscious.”
• on a 12-inch rack for storing compact disks: “Do not use as a ladder.”
• on a cartridge for a laser printer: “Do not eat toner.”
• on a 13-inch wheel on a wheelbarrow: “Not intended for highway use.”
• on a can of self-defense pepper spray: “May irritate eyes.”
• on a pair of shin guards manufactured for bicyclists: “Shin pads cannot protect any part of the body they do not cover.”
• on a snowblower: “Do not use on roof.”
• on a dishwasher: “Do not allow children to play in the dishwasher.”
• on a fireplace log: “Caution – Risk of Fire.”
• on a box of birthday cake candles: “DO NOT use soft wax as ear plugs or for any other function that involves insertion into a body cavity.”
Which is your favorite? Have you seen any Wacky Warning Labels?
2 thoughts on “Viva La Frivolous Lawsuit!”
I should think the one about the digital thermometer which said “Once used rectally, the thermometer should not be used orally” really should have said “Once used rectally, one never goes back.”
Isn’t there also one about the can of bear repellent spray which says “Do not spray on self”?
Yeah, I’ve heard the bear repellent one before but I didn’t see it on the Wacky Warnings Website. Maybe it’s an urban myth. But you know the ones I posted are all true because the site is run by an attorney. They never make stuff up.
My favorite of these is the one that tells folks not to use a toilet brush for personal hygiene. All I can picture is someone squirting some Lysol cleanser up around their gums then trying to cram the brush in their mouth to scrub and disinfect their teeth. Possibly trying to remove rust and hard water deposits while they’re at it.
Life’s hard. But it’s harder when you’re dumb.