1. Don’t wear a porkpie hat if you want to go unnoticed. I saw the same guy at the top of the Sears Tower, in Millenium Park and at the airport. I never would have recognized him without the hat. It was not my husband, by the way.
2. Chicago dogs taste as good at 8 a.m. as they do any other time of day. That darn pickle wedge, however, must be removed and eaten separately at any time of day. It’s a choking hazard.
3. Suitcases on wheels are WAY better than sliced bread. But probably not if you really wanted a sandwich.
4. People love to get married at Chicago tourist attractions. In the few days we were there ”” not preoccupied with dodging potholes and swerving cars, that is ”” we saw six weddings at tourist attractions. I tried to figure out why taking photos of the bridal party in front of office buildings on Michigan Avenue was every little girls dream. Or if the landscaping in front of the Aquarium really looks better with sock-and-sandal clad tourists. And seriously? Asking your guests to come to a tourist destination on the busiest day of the year? Carrying gifts?? Wearing high heels?? That’s messed up.
I can’t wait to go back and learn more stuff!
I â™¥ Chicago!
How ’bout you? Do you heart Chicago too? What’s your favorite thing there?
0 thoughts on “What I Learned In Chicago”
And once again – I must jump in. There are a couple of finer points that you seem to have glossed over.
1. If you saw someone at the top of the Sears Tower, in Millennium Park and at the airport – it wasn’t a cool coincidence that you were made aware of by his quirky headgear. Dude was stalking you. Check your wallet.
2. You do not ever attempt to eat either the pickle or the peppers with the hotdog. Not because of the possibility of choking, simply because you will get mustard and relish all over your face. Let’s just say that for the pickle, inside the bun is NOT the friendly confines. Oh, and please, please, please tell me you did not have ketchup on your hot dog. No one over 10 is allowed to do that in Chicago, on pain of death. For real.
3. People who were innocently trying to get to work while you were ambling about with your damn wheelie suitcase are still cursing you out. I would disinfect those things if I were you. You cannot imagine the unspeakable things people were doing to them as you dragged them along behind you, creating a moving obstacle course for all the people who know what “city walk” actually means.
4. Those people weren’t getting married. Wedding photos are not taken where you get married here. They are taken in front of cool buildings with classic Chicago architecture. The people in the wedding party didn’t have gifts – if they were carrying anything it was a box of wine to ease the pain of having to look at you in your socks and sandals. They probably got married the next day. That way everyone gets to wear their dress twice. We are too damn frugal to buy a dress to wear just once, wedding or no. Midwest sensibilities here. Besides, you don’t want to take the pictures in front of the hotel where you are actually getting married – we only have like six buildings in all of Chicago that don’t have a pothole in front of them, and everyone has to go there.
Hope this helps……..
1. Wallet intact.
2. Ketchup??? Ugh. Perish the thought.
3. You’re wrong here. People loved my wheelie suitcase. I know this because they waved at me. Of course, they are busy people in Chicago so they didn’t always use all their fingers. But I knew they loved me. Besides, everyone loves a tourist!
4. For the record, it was not me or my hubbie wearing socks and sandals. Nor was it wedding party peeps carrying gifts – strictly guest-types trying to walk to the Aquarium on Labor Day weekend in their fancy clothes and high heels and trying not to sweat through any of it. (They were unsuccessful, I might add.) And if all those people in bridal wear I saw were NOT getting married, then they need some serious fashion help. Or they need to lay off the box wine.